Entitled mom orders adult meals for her 6 and 9-year-old on boyfriend's dime and refuses to take home leftovers, goes no-contact when boyfriend complains: 'She went silent for a day' 

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    GF of 2 yrs pulled the plug after I made comments about paying for her kids' dinner Been seeing this woman for 2 years (she's 40, i'm 43). She lives long distance so I fly to go see her as much as I can (3x a year). We were planning on getting more serious and possibly moving in together later this year. The last time we met, we spent the majority of the time with her 3 kids (it had only been just me and her dating up until then). She struggles financially to make ends meet with 3 kids so I've a
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    As the week progressed, I noticed that she was allowing her kids (the 6 and 9 year old) to order full blown adult plates fully knowing that they would not finish the entire meal (they do not take left overs home, either). We also later pulled up to a Starbucks and she asked them what they wanted and they all said a large drink. I, of course, paid. They took a few sips from their drink and told her they didn't want it anymore. All of this didnt sit well with me, since I was raised to only order w
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    Once I flew back home, after a few days I told her I was bothered by the fact that she was not being mindful of my money by not setting boundaries with her children and allowing them to just order knowing that they will likely just waste good food and my money. She got very offended and said she couldn't believe I was bringing up the issue of money and her kids and that I was somehow trying to humiliate her. I told her I apologize if you took offense about your children and the dinner topic; I s
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    I thought to myself afterwards that maybe I shouldn't be forcing my view of things on to her, and decide on my own if I want to continue being with her without making her feel bad.
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    AITAH? Since she technically broke up with me, and am now the dumpee, is it better to go no contact (currently on week 3 of that) or should I break NC and make another attempt at a sincere apology? I really do love and miss her, but part of me thinks I'm the AH and the other part of me thinks that I am right for bringing up some behaviors that I believe need correcting.
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    deathtoallants · 19 hr. ago · edited 19 hr. ago NTA. The throwing away of unfinished food at restaurants and not taking home leftovers is irritating.
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    lacyreif 19 hr. ago Nta. Think how much worse that situation would be if you moved in together. Shedoesnt seem very considerate of money considering she has money issues and isn't the one paying.
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    Ali_Cat222 17 hr. ago Plus if she isn't willing to work through such an issue as this and talk about it maturely, imagine how many times situations will arise and she does the same thing?
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    PotentialIndustry176 12 hr. ago That. I was going to say this. Expecting Starbucks for 3 kids from someone they just met. Obviously she puts the children first and this is your life. Pandering to someone else's kids would get old fast. Better to date locally and save your money for somebody who appreciates it
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    Ali Cat222 11 hr. ago • I mean OP wasn't even upset about Starbucks though, he was upset at how they'd get the largest sizes and not finish it. So she's honestly extremely immature for not realizing how reasonable he was being while also buying them food in the first place. It's nice enough that he's paying for all of this and being around for her kids, but she can't understand why he'd be upset
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    that they waste expensive drinks and food? And I'm sorry but I say this as someone who once struggled and have a kid myself, if this woman is concerned about finances and struggling financially why the food to go?! does she not take the
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    chaingun_samurai · 18 hr. ago She struggles financially to make ends meet with 3 kids You know what might help with this? Not blowing money on food the kids won't eat. NTA.
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    • Jpmjpm 16 hr. ago Until I got to the part of the kids throwing away the food and drinks, I thought she was having them get large sizes for the purpose of leftovers to save money. After reading that they throw it out, I don't even know what the point of that is. Cosplaying as a fancy pants rich McGee who's too good for leftovers or finishing their dinner?
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    forever_single_now 19 hr. ago NTA Don't break the NC. Either she accepts that it's not the way things are supposed to go or she does not. Being someone who had to be careful with money for a while I know it might be humiliating when you hear some comments, but unless you are absolutely dumb, you can learn out of those comments.
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    She might calm down and realize you did not offend her but just brought a legit concern. Or she was just expecting you to be her walking wallet. If you give in now, you will never know (or way too late) what it is. But if you wait and she apologizes for overreacting chances are that she realized you did not offend her.
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    No matter what you do...I would recommend to stay cautious with your finances anyway...breaking up over a comment without even trying to discuss it is sketchy.
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    Jaded-Pool1322 · 19 hr. ago Nope. Stay no contact. It was I of her not to consider your funds and allow them to order what they wanted. She could have said "guys, get a small" or offered to pay. I don't understand no leftovers. That's odd to me. I think you're dodging a bullet and you have nothing to apologize for. You brought it up which was
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    awesome as opposed to just keeping it to yourself. Good for you. Now she's dumping you trying to punish you for saying how you felt and that's manipulation. She's teaching you to never make attempts to speak your mind or say how you feel. Nope. Red flag. You aren't an at all. Imagine if you moved in together and you had to address something about her kids. Yeah, no.
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    ConvivialKat 18 hr. ago NTA And stick with the NC. One of the difficulties of a long-distance relationship is how long it takes for two people to actually spend enough time together to get out of the honeymoon stage and into the reality stage.
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    You finally got into a bit of the reality stage and ran into a distinct incompatibility. It happens. She recognized it, and so must you. Learn from this and move on.

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